Critiquing Jacob

Hey y'all. Thanks for joining me to do what I just love so much, inviting people to tear my beloved book apart. Seriously though, an author's best friend is an honest critic. Now, because I don't have all the time to work on this, working on many other thingys right now, I have already paid for a professional beta reader who gave me some good tips on how to strengthen my book. To simplify, I have broken down his issues and a way to fix it without warping the book's soul. Mainly, we want to clarity some places that might lose the reader. My request to you, if you agree or not. Feel free to describe your answer in detail.

1.) His first issue: "While Jacob’s experience in Syze is a necessary crucible for him to effectively combat Lurid, the focus shifts away from him for lengthier spans of time than expected."

FIX: I will introduce a brief, poetic-like dream sequence of Jacob's about the orphan the chapter is about. At first, it will almost feel too abstract or metaphorical to make sense but by the chapter's end, it will click.